9 days to go before Tahun Baru 2009

yep. dah nak masuk 2009 dah.sedar tak sedar, pejam celik makan tidur berak, dah nak masuk tahun baru.ape pencapaian aku tahun ni ek? tetiba rasa nak muhasabah diri lepas boss panggil untuk yearly SKT jumaat lepas. well tahun ni aku dapat merasa buat keje sendiri, tak mcam HTAA asik2 bawah hidung orang jek. pastu keje pengurusan pun byk, 6-monthly, 3-monthly reten yang kene buat (asik lewat jer). huahuahua. not forgetting KMK yang berjalan dengan lancar walaupun agak lembap sekali (huahuahuaha). tapi alhamdulillah aku belajar banyak tahun ni. belajar nak handle staffs, handle pengurusan tapi masih blom belajar nak handle stress very WELL. dah pandai nak gastrik pulak perut aku, seriously. dulu tak pernah camni. hish.
on the other hand, aku dah beli iPod nano yang diidam-idamkan. tapi seriously mac punya product punya la susah nak dihandle. kene d/load itunes la, sync ntah pape, register watnot tak macam sony mp3 yang bleh drag-and-drop je. menyesal gak tapi lagi menyesal kalo tak beli. dah menjadi cita2 aku utk mempossess iPod mp3 bila dah keje. aku belik yang ijau! sangat cute n aku sangat2 bersyukur sebab ade mende ni. huhuhu~
gonna update the blog before 2009. maybe aku sambut new year kat ipoh. lom confirm lagi. bye!

Eat,Pray,Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

it took me like forever to finish this.it's not that the book is not interesting, tapi aku rarely ade masa untuk buku sejak bekerja. hanya buku yang betul2 menarik n timing yang sesuai je aku akan baca buku. the rest hanyalah papers n magazines. sucks kan? i used to looove reading.
anyway, aku beli this book from Oprah's Book Club recommendation. (yes i watch Oprah okay). they even invited the writer to the show.
citer die lebih kurang camni laa...
Liz Gilbert ni 30-something successful married woman bila dier agak terstuck dalam hidup. she couldn't carry on living with her spouse n decided to get a divorce. tapi pelbagai dugaan la yang die tempuh nak get away from the spouse, jatuh cinta ngan orang yang salah lepas tu (rebound kot), n decided to travel to this 3 places she always wants to go to: Italy, India n Indonesia. Italy for the food (EAT), India for the yoga (PRAY) n Indonesia for medicine man yang die jumpa kat Bali a few years before (LOVE).
i really like the food part, eventho the yoga part was quite draggish. tapi for the sake of knowledge,bacalaa jugak. cuba la carik this book. worth your money spent. :)

kalau aku nak travel cam Liz, aku nak pegi mana eh?

Die Tak Suke Aku

itu je la yang aku dapat simpulkan. sayang gak laa sebab aku nampak die sebagai 'possibility'. good vibe yang aku rasa sepanjang aku bersama dengan die. nak wat camne, tak semua orang akan suka kat kita kan? macam yang aku pena dengar, 'seseorang itu akan ada masalah kalo semua orang suka kat die.' masalah ape aku malas nak pikir.

ahh, rejection. hurts like hell :)

reward for myself

sebenarnya takde paper accomplishment pun. saje je nak belikan diri sendiri hadiah. tahun lepas dah beli macam2; laptop, phone ngan kamera. tahun ni nak beli ni plak ...

alhamdulillah. rezeki tak pernah tersekat. moga2 diberkati rezeki tahun hadapan. 2008 dah nak abes pun. semoga tahun hadapan aku lebih baik dari tahun ni.

insyaallah.

Jonas Brothers-Love Bug

Called you for the first time yesterday
Finally found the missing part of me
Felt so close but you were far away
Left me without anything to say

c/o
Now I’m speechless
Over the edge and just breathless
I never thought that
I’d catch this
Love bug again
Hopeless head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I’d get hit
With this love bug again

I can’t get your smile out of my mind
I think bout your eyes all the time
Beautiful but you don’t even try
Modesty is just so hard to find

Now I’m speechless
Over the edge and just breathless
I never thought that I’d catch this
Love bug again
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I’d get hit
With this love bug again

Kissed her for the first time yesterday
Everything I wished that it would be
Suddenly I forgot how to speak
Hopeless, breathless, baby can’t you see

Now I’m…
(Guitar solo!)
Yahow!!!
Now I’m speechless!
Over the edge and just breathless!
I never thought that I’d catch this!
Love bug again!
Now I’m hopeless, head over heels in the moment!
I never thought that I’d get hit!
With this love bug again!
Ohh oho
Love bug again

Impian

aku pernah mengimpikan kehidupan bekeluarga 2,3 tahun yang dulu. wake up every morning with somebody by my side, seeing cute little faces needing my attention everyday. living in the suburb, probably bangi ataupun serdang. ade teman sehidup semati. growing old together. taat kepada suami, cerahlah masa depan masuk syurga. kehidupan yang diredhai.
i used to have this dream with this one guy. i never said it out loud or even giving a hint or something, in my heart i really do. too bad he didn't feel the same way. unlucky me.

i just hope the next time i have this dream, it will be fulfilled. but it will not be in a long long time i guess.

Confession #1: I Am A Caffein Addict

Azrin Alladin

seriously. i tried to go without my regular nescafe fix in the morning today. had nestum instead of the usual nescafe 3-in-1 mild tuh. so today my life was kinda sucks. tak tau la disebabkan oleh mende2 lain tapi hari ni 'aura membunuh' memang kuat la. but i persevered until the evening. last last, i ordered teh ais for dinner. malam ni sah2 susah nak tido. aii, suka menyusahkan diri sendiri.

dah ader plan for tomorrow, sabtu 15 november 2008.

8.30-11.00am-keje.

11.00-12.00noon-beli belah for groceries @ either umart atau b5.(malas nak jalan jejauh)

12.00-1.00pm-cook lunch, have lunch.

1.00-8.00pm-lepak2 tonton tv,kemas rumah, kemas bilik,dapur, etc

8.00-10.00pm-pegi kenduri rumah hawa.

siap ader jadual lagi. boringgnyaa ujung minggu ni~

Jamie Foxx-Unpredictable

Jamie Foxx Lyrics
Unpredictable Lyrics

me lurrve Jamie Foxx and this song. Malay man shud be more like this. ahaks. no pun intended.

Dating Dating Dating

nervous breakdown. dating for the first time still brings flutter in my heartbeat, butterfly in my stomach. especially with a guy you might really really like in the future. eheh.

baju - gosok. CHECK.
matching tudung. CHECK.
seluar. CHECK.
underwear. CHECK. CHECK.
bedak. CHECK.
muka. CHECK.
gigi. CHECK.
body odour. CHECK. WANGI. CK'S EUPHORIA BLOSSOM. heh

had to tangguh for 15 mins. rasa nak terberak. nervous nervous.

back from the first date: gembira.tak.terkata.

had to cut it short tho takut tak sempat maghrib. all the anxiety hilang. die pun manusia biasa jugak kan. ader flaws gak. nape laa takut sangat inaa??

anyway it's too early to say whether this one is gonna 'jadi' or not. if jadi, hopefully Allah akan permudahkan. if not, wat to do? tidak tersurat di Loh Mahfuz kan? easy breezy~

Malang Tak Berbau, Sudah Jatuh Ditimpa Tangga

betul lah. sangat betul peribahasa itu. lepas kete aku kemek kene langgar dek Pajero *tutt* kat Hoshas, tayar lak kene tukar pasal ader 'bisul' kat driver's side. semua orang yang aku tanya suruh tukar tayar tu takut meletup lak. ai ai ai. pastu aku dengan bangangnya tak menghidupkan enjin kete sampai bateri kete tu abes dan kene panggil pomen jumpstart kan. huhu :( dah melayang almost rm500 sebab beli bateri baru n tukar tayar baru. ape nak wat? cobaan~

tak jadik pegi kuantan 22hb. ika tak jadik pegi gambang. mak suruh balik pegi kenduri kak cik kat bukit merah. dah plan nak singgah ipoh jumpak izyani n family. tak tipon pun dier lagi. tak saba nak jumpa baby alim!nak beli ape aa kat baby alim nie...

projek mega cam belum menampakkan hasil lagi. tapi bisnes partner asik tanya2 jek. camner nak berhasil kalo takder sambutan. nampak sangat kang i yang tersua-sua. cilakak punya person!

*the sight of you brought pain in my heart*

you still do. we're bound to cross path over and over again throughout our lives. i just hope the next time i see you, the pain won't hurt so much anymore.

Ya Allah berikan aku kekuatan. Please give me strength to accept the fact that it is all over.

*susahnya nak lupakan kenangan*

(senikatawati berfilosofi rambang-ms wani ardy)

stumbled upon this one particular blog belongs to a girl, WaniArdy. not a fren of her whatsoever but i really really like one poem/song of hers that i'm going to feature right now. here goes

DEAR MR. FUTURE

Hello
What’s your name?
Have I seen you before?
Have you ever heard me sing?

I don’t make the best lullaby
But every song I write
Is my journey to you

You’re out there
Breathing the same air
I can feel you near

Should I wait?
Should I find?

I don’t wanna be late
I don’t wanna be
I don’t wanna be late
I don’t wanna be

Tell me how many songs do I need to write to get to you?
Tell me how many songs do I need to write to get to you?

Are you here in the crowd?
Would you stand out and show yourself up?
‘Cause I’ve been talking to that someone in the future
If I could I would just squeeze into the drawer
And spare us this series of nonsense

Are you here in the crowd?
Would you stand out and show yourself up?
Let’s save our bloody precious time
And put an end to soulmate-searching drama
We’ve prolly brushed against each other
We’re just too frickin’ stupid to even bother
Hey it’s not like we’re getting any younger
And let’s not forget all those standard procedure
That might take up another few more years

Oh I am tired of talking to someone in the future
If I could I would just squeeze into the drawer
And spare us this series of heartbreaking nonsense
This series of heartbreaking nonsense
This series of heartbreaking nonsense

Hello
What’s your name?


© 2008 Wani Ardy Tintajiwa Ent.

so simple yet so deep. sangat sangat sangat suka.

lagu yang awesome!

Kardinal Offishall - Dangerous lyrics

Girl I can't notice but to
Notice you (you)
Noticing me (me)
From across the room I can see it
And can't stop myself from looking and
Noticing you
Noticing me
Watch out I've seen her type before
That girl is so dangerous
That girl is so dangerous
That girl is a bad girl
I've seen her type before
She's so dangerous
That girl is so dangerous
That girl is a bad girl, yeah

Ohhh yeah that's her
The big dog tryin to get her little kitty to purr.
Ex-man lookin at me like I'm Lucifer,
Cause he knows I will be on the case
Yes sir!
If I was the last man on earth
I would only take that girl
End of search
She give a new definition to the word curve
Got chicks in the strip club envyin her
Body's like a weapon of mass eruptions,
See the glad on that phat obstruction,
Tongue game give a new type of seduction.
(I'm trying to give that girl something...CHA!)

Girl I can't notice but to
Notice you (you)
Noticing me (me)
From across the room I can see it
And can't stop myself from looking and
Noticing you
Noticing me
Watch out I've seen her type before
That girl is so dangerous
That girl is so dangerous
That girl is a bad girl
I've seen her type before
She's so dangerous
That girl is so dangerous
That girl is a bad girl, yeah

Ohh... Bad to the bone,
Everything locked like a two-three zone
I wanted to make my black snake moan
Talk a lick a bit and take that home
She bad and she know the deal
That sweater can't hide what she want to conceal
I mean Megan Good and Halle Berry
Put together ain't close to the JUBEE I see (no no)
No disrespect but this gal a pon another level
Cut the check...Uhhh
Tell the king,
Man stop the press
Say kid can I get a witness

Girl I can't notice but to
Notice you (you)
Noticing me (me)
From across the room I can see it
And can't stop myself from looking and
Noticing you
Noticing me
Watch out I've seen her type before
That girl is so dangerous
That girl is so dangerous
That girl is a bad girl
I've seen her type before
She's so dangerous
That girl is so dangerous
That girl is a bad girl, yeah

I see you got that fire
By the way that you walkin' (walkin')
From left to right
I watched her go down
Girl I just want it right now
Don't wanna do no talkin' [talkin']
Shorty's so right I need to slow down

Figure 8
Good body shape
When she on the dance floor
Gal dem irate
When she do her thing
A man can't walk straight
That biscuit can soak up everything on my plate
Bad heels like Jessica B
I'm tryna give home girl sex and the cit-it-it-ty
Itty bitty waistline moves with the baseline
One lick of punch...I'm fine

Girl I can't notice but to
Notice you (you)
Noticing me (me)
From across the room I can see it
And can't stop myself from looking and
Noticing you
Noticing me
Watch out I've seen her type before
That girl is so dangerous
That girl is so dangerous
That girl is a bad girl
I've seen her type before
She's so dangerous
That girl is so dangerous
That girl is a bad girl, yeah



Song lyrics | Dangerous lyrics

the way i are

Gunung Machincang bebeh!

guess what? aku dah guna the same email for the last 10 years. gile lama. not my first email add tho'. dulu aku pernah bernickname-d 'babymercury83' kat IRC (circa '98) hence the email add was babymercury83@hotmail.com. Giler tacky. tatau macam mana leh ended up having sarah_farina@yahoo.com as my permanent email add but since i am a loyal person (gile puji) here i am still using the same email add. and the password adalah nickname utk abang senior yang aku puja2 masa f3 itu. serius crush gile, tahap infatuation dah kot. stalking tu normal bagi aku, taking note of what he was wearing on what day, my diary full of hopes and wishes that someday he will notice me. pahh! serius pervert. tapi tak sangka lak lepas tu aku tak pernah dah suka any guy like i liked (or loved?) him. boleh ke cintakan orang yang kita tak kenal? hmm...

sangat suka memasak semenjak 2 menjak nih. pastu bagi orang makan lak tuh. awal raya aritu dah bawak nasik impit ngan kuah kacang, pastu masa jamuan raya farmasi berani pulakk nak bawak lontong~ nasib baik ader hawa ngan k.mimah yang nak tolong. sebab tibe2 jek tak konfiden nak masak sensorang. dah la terbeli santan basi! kene beli balik santan. igtkan dah tak jadik dah. alhamdulillah jadik. habis la jugak lontong gue~

will post gambar2 masa jamuan raya farmasi. kene mintak kat faiz. huhu ciao!

normal people worry me!

serius dah lama tak menulis. malas+nothing much to write about. aku pun hidup macam dah takder arah tujuan. keje melambak2, projek pun banyak. kene bagi cme at least 2 kali next month, kursus sekali n bagi kmk lecture sekali. aihh penatnyaaaa...
raya datang n pergi. tahun ni sekali lagi kami beraya di kajang. meriah jugak la since seme menantu+cucu balik, walaupun scr berperingkat-peringkat. penat gak la nak mengemas lepas tuh. lepak sana sampai kul 3petang, pastu pegi umah tok ajis ngan acik kat tman mesra, kajang. balik dalam kul 7 camtu. tak amik gambar pun! punya la boring raya tahun ni.
abah dah start ngelat makan ubat die. aku risau giler. die tak makan ubat sgt sepanjang bulan puasa nih. aku yang sebagai pharmacist ni pun taktau nak wat pe ngan die. die rasa ok die kata. gtn memang tak pernah bukak la yang dapat dari hospital tu. aku harap2 sgt laa allah bukak hati dier untuk terima hakikat dan beri petunjuk untuk die dengar nasihat aku. aihh :(
pergi wedding niza kat subang ngan ana,liya ngan syera. seronok dapat kumpul balik ngan depa walaupun minus alynn yang tengah berpantang kat taiping. tapi tak sempat nak lepak lelama coz ana terus balik kuantan petang sabtu lepas niza py reception tu n liya lak lepak ngan kawan dier kat shah alam. tinggal la aku ngan syera jek. nak watpe 2 orang jer.. rindunyaa nak lepak coffee street @ zack's corner kuantan cam dulu2. cam tak caya dah setahun dah aku tinggal kat jengka. pejam celik pejam celik je aku rasa.
neway gotta go. next time nak citer pasal projek mega lain lak. ciao

Weddings

I have been to two wedding receptions in two weekends in a row. The first one (9/8/08) was Kak Aa's (aka EO) in Jengka 5. There were a convoy of 4 cars actually. Mine, office staff's, Sister Faudziah's and Sharizan the driver's. Kak Faridah from Dapur tumpang me since her husband was oncall. Her boy Aman tagged along too :) The journey took about 0.5 hour je. There's this story behind her wedding actually. She married a duda who used to work in Hospital Jengka about a year ago. She was with someone else and he is still married at that time. They kinda hooked up after their relationship ended. I have no problem with their relationship since they're both single but you know, Melayu. All the cakap2 behind is so not welcoming from my ear therefore i wud kinda pissed when all the people around start bitching/umpating about them. Just leave them alone ok! Dah selamat dah pun. Although if i am in her shoes , it wud take my biggest strength to endure all the susah-payah before she finally made it to the arms of her man. Definite no no kot for me.
Anyway, the second wedding was just a few hours ago. Rusarina aka Ina from Store got hitched today. Nothing much to write about. Went there with Hawa, Faiz and Pok Jak's clan. The ride took only 0.5 hour since Pok Jak showed the shortcut jalan but the jalan.... masyaallah. All the lubang-lubangs, taik lembus, rosak kereta aku! Anyway here's the pics from the weddings

Pics from Tioman

sini lor

Tioman Trip

sudah hitam legam diriku. rasa cam nigger lak. haha.
pegi Pekan ngan Azrin untuk tidur kt umah Ana pada hari Khamis. Her quaters house is so damn cantik man. Dah la ader furniture and everything, bilik air pun ader heater! Itu pun Ana masih nak pindah lagi. Try being in Jengka la, sure dier nangis punya. Anyway, Jumaat pagi2 tu kitoang kuar sbb nak kejar feri kul 10.30am. Naik kat Mersing. So pegi Rompin dari Pekan lebih kurang sejam, makan bekpes kat umah Liya n zroom pegi Mersing which took another one hour ngan Liya's driving (oh die sudah habis tempoh P. wooho!). Sampai je kat Mersing, kitoang carik tiket n tunggu la feri sampai. Igtkan dah lambat dah since sampai quite late tapi feri lagi lambat. Naik feri dalam kul 11 n feri depart dalam kul 11 lebih nearing 12. Punya la hangat! :(
Satu perkara yang aku belajar tentang diriku pada 1 ogos itu adalah yang aku ni mabuk laut. Nak tau camne aku tau? Sebab aku muntah dalam feri tu. Actually Azrin yang mula2 muntah dulu but she was quite prepared. Tak macam aku yang all of a sudden terus muntah kat tangan dan habis kotor tudung, baju ngan suar ku. Cis dah mekap lawa2 pastu muntah plak. Takpe2 dugaan. Abang feri tu siap kata lagi, "ai dah nak dekat baru muntah plak?" Aparaa punya abang, dah la lambat bagi plastik, siap kata camtu lak. Kecik ati aku. Dalam kul 2 lebih sampai ke Salang, the last station feri tu berhenti and it was all worth it. All the mabuk laut, the muntah, the sarcasm remark is all forgotten once aku sampai. The view was marvellous, breathtaking and the ocean! Memang out of the ordinary la. Aku pun tak pernah pegi jalan2 pulau ni so this one is very new to me. Terjadik la aku jakun sekejap.
Program kitorang petang Jumaat lepas sampai Tioman tu adalah utk board feri lagi untuk ke Tekek, part of Tioman. It was Liya's main reason to be in Tioman actually. Dier kene wat lawatan penyeliaan untuk farmasi kat klinik kesihatan tekek sana. We were just tagging along. 4 pharmacists untuk wat penyeliaan sana, sungguh hebat! KK Tekek takde la besa sgt. in fact sgt kecik sampai takder kaunter utk dispens ubat, yang ada hanyalah meja dan kusi. Sgt sempoi n sempit. Tapi mebe quite enough utk tampung berapa ramai sgt patient kat sana. N kalu nak refer case pun kat Hospital Mersing yang masih memerlukan feri/bot (that's why ader jawatan Jurumudi sana ala2 pemandu la). It was quite refreshing la seeing other facilities yang sgt2 tak modern n peaceful compared to busy surroundings, long queues and angry faces kat hospital2 besar. Anyway, we made a new fren who hails from KT. Kesian gak die ni lepas grad pharmacy school jek terus tercampak kat tempat ulu ni. Liya cakap first time die jumpa budak ni, budak ni nangis ngadu kat dier. Dah la sensorang, sangap lak tu. Aku yang pegawai ni pun belum tentu leh survive kat tpt2 macam ni yang lack of everything, tak kembang n nak jalan2 pun aduh mak jauhnya. Kitorang balik ke Salang semula around 8 something, had dinner and went to bed early.
Keesokan harinya adalah hari untuk snorkeling! Memula igtkan hotel tu dah sediakan snorkeling gear utk semua customernya rupanya tak. Kene la sewa goggle, fin ngan jacket sendiri, around rm19 seorang. Bot jalan kul 10.00 ke tiga tempat (yang aku tak igt namanya) n i have to say snorkeling is so much fun! Memula memang la tak biasa sgt tapi azrin is such a wonderful instructor that i cud master this (ewah) in no time. Aku tak berani sgt nak wander around jejauh tapi the experience of snorkeling was superb. The view was so tantalizing, fishes, sotongs, corals, semua lah. bila dah seronok sket tetiba orang tu suruh naik bot balik. Alaa potong stim sungguh la pakcik ni..the snorkeling took about 3 hours plus and bila balik jer tgk masing2 dah itam legam, ader yg kene gigit la, tapi memang syok gile la. Lepas lunch, naik atas bilik, mandi2 n solat, terus tido jap. Cadang nak pegi jalan2 tapi memasing dah penat. Kuar balik pegi beli burger (yang berharga rm5!) dan makan kat tepi pantai. Aku, Ana ngan Liya mandi2 lagi while Azrin dok kat tepi pantai. Malam tu kitorang dapat free bbQ inclusive in the package, ader ayam, ikan, sotong, nasik goreng, buah dan air. Order lagi tomyam ngan sayur kailan goreng belacan. Melantak tak igt! Dapat jugak la makan sedap kat Tioman nii. So malam yang terakhir tu kitorang lepak2 kat tepi jetty campak roti kat ikan, shopping for souvenirs kat kedai2 di Salang n balik tido.
The very dreaded next day tu aku n Azrin dah well prepared. 1 tab of Stemetil after breakfast and another one before boarding. Aku telan 1 tab Maxolon after Stemetil just to be on the safe side. Alhamdulillah kitorang selamat tanpa muntahan atau drowsiness. That very awful feeling masa muntah tu sangat traumatic sampai aku fikir byk kali b4 nak naik bot on the way home tu. Mesti macam ni la perasaan orang yang tgh buat chemotherapy. Kesian kan? Anyway lepas sampai kitorang lunch kat Mersing, then singgah Rompin amek ubat utk Jengka before heading back to Pekan. Singgah jap kat Murtabak Mengkasar yang dikatakan feymes itu and Ana yang belanja! Lepas makan anta Ana ke kuarters die, amek ubat n terus head home. Penat giler ah, sampai rumah dalam kul 8 lebih. Mandi2, solat n terus tido. Tak kemas beg pun. Huhu.

Cost incurred

Salang Indah Package including room (2 double bed), breakfast, lunch, dinner and 1 night of bbQ + snorkeling + ferry pergi & balik = RM260
Ferry ke Tekek pergi dan balik = RM 40
Minyak Jengka-Pekan-Rompin-Mersing = RM 100
Tol Jengka-Kuantan = RM 19
Souvenirs = RM 100
Makan2 = RM 50
Sewa snorkeling gear = RM 19

Total cost = ~RM600

but it was all worth it!

The Click Five-Empty

Song lyrics | Empty lyrics

tioman, here i come!

ish tak saba nak vacay ke tioman nih. away from work, worries and the most important of all, celebrating my birthday! hahaha aku sudah tua. dah 25 tahun dah aku bernafas di muka bumi ni. so many things to do but so little time. ah nvm, just seize the day.

can't wait! :)

1 ogos 1 ogos~

huhu. solar eclipse akan menjelma pada hari jadi ku tahun ni~

sila baca

lagu yang paling digemari satu ketika dulu

My Own Worst Enemy-Lit
Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk
I didnt mean to call you that
I cant remember what was said or what you threw at me
Please tell me
Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And Im sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
And youre gone
Its no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
Cuz every now and then I kick the living sh*t out of me
The smoke alarm is going off and theres a cigarette
Still burning
Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And Im sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
And youre gone
Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And Im sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
Its no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
Cuz every now and then I kick the living sh*t out of me
Can we forget about the the things I said when I was drunk
I didnt mean to call you that

Aku yang menghampiri suku abad~

hui aku sudah tua. heh. anyway sudah 5 hari berturut2 aku asyik memandu jauh je. my back pun aching like crazy. memula jumaat tu balik serdang, sabtu gi jalan2 kat sana-sini, ahad balik jengka, isnin pegi kuantan n selasa pegi maran. fuh, i'm glad it's finally over. malas dah nak bawak kete besok. rehat jap :)
masa on the way nak balik jengka tuh, ader one massive traffic jam kat hiway karak. so banyak gile la kete terstuck kat jalan (2 lanes) and tak bergerak almost 10 mins. and i have to admit aku ader sedikit anxiety attack yang wat aku tak boleh nak dok diam. tapi aku bukan nak citer pasal anxiety ni la. aku nak lepas geram kat orang2 bodoh yang masuk emergency lane kat sebelah kiri sekali tu sebab nak cepat jalan. tapi yang sebenar2nya depa ni laa yang wat jam lagi bertambah teruk sebab kalo tak camne tow truck nak lalu kalo berketul2 kete penuh kat every lanes? cam bangang. memang aku mencarut masa jam tuh dan curse orang2 yang camni la. siut kan?

Wordle

cool sungguh website nih. pegi la google this website-Wordle



macam mana nak penuhkan satu muka ngan words tu? still tak paham

Sabtu ini

keje for this weekend. feeling like shit all week. having the same flu upon getting up everyday n sleeps with an Actifed, Benadryl and PCM combo to ease the throbbing headache and blocked nose every night. ouch. not having a very good week i guess. got lots n lots of work to do but yet still so malas to do. the MTAC discussion with fun asik2 kene raincheck. so sorry fun!
anyway, it is already July. full of birthdays of so many people that i know of.

1. gee's july 5th (25)
2. liya's 9th (25)
3. afiq's 10th (25)
4. ika's 12th (sweet 18-cepatnya masa berlalu)
5. dekda's 16th (25)
6. deja's 19th (25)
7. aizudin's 21st (25)
8. ezuan's 25th (25)

and last but not least, the most remembered date in my entire life, HIS july 22nd. eventho we are no longer together but i will always pray for his kesejahteraan dan kebahagiaan.
sigh. gotta stop hurting myself like this. this is what happen when july comes. when will i ever forget?

Alone

how can people be so selfish? this is the question i've been asking myself for a long time. when i tot i can count on someone, then this someone will let me down. have i been putting too much hope on people? coz truthfully eventho i have lots of frens but nobody can be counted as frens. take people around me for instance. when i do good to them unconditionally, what i get? DISAPPOINTMENT. i've been hurt so many times before. this time it's the same thing again. when will i get over with this mistake of putting too much hope on people and believing they will do good to you? people nowadays can't be trusted anymore. at least that's what i believe now. won't let myself get too close to anybody now. ever. coz what will they bring? MISERY.

f**k you heartless two face b***h

lega

i am mentally exhausted

me having fun with myself *pathetic


i am i am. but am going to sort this out.

Cake-I Will Survive

At first I was afraid
I was petrified
I kept thinking
I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Just thinking how you'd done me wrong
And I grew strong
I learned how to get along
So now you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here
Without the look upon your face
I should have changed my f-ing lock
I would have made you leave your key
If I'd have known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me

Oh now go,
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah

It took all the strength I had
Just not to fall apart
I'm trying hard to mend the pieces
Of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me
With somebody new
I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you
And so you thought you'd just drop by
And you expect me to be free
But now I'm saving all my loving
For someone who's loving me

Oh now go,
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive
I've got all my live to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah

Lagu Yang Dimainkan Untuk Majlis Perkahwinan

berikut lagu2 yang aku harap dapat dimainkan oleh mr.dj semasa hari perkahwinan aku (?) dalam masa ........... tahun lagi (isi sendiri di masa hadapan)

1. As-Mary J. Blige & George Michael
2. Kerna-Ruffedge
3. You're The One That I Want-John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
4. Ayu-V.E.
5. Saat Bahagia-V.E. & Ruffedge
6. Keabadian Cinta-Anuar Zain
7. I Finally Found Someone-Bryan Adams & Barbara Streisand

list ni akan diupdatekan dari masa ke semasa

don't ever get your hopes high, especially on people

how true. lately aku rasa semua orang di sekeliling aku sangat selfish n disappointing. aku dah la rasa lonely sometimes but then eventho aku berada di tempat yang penuh dengan orang tapi keadaan diorang tu bukan aku rasa annoyed. bila nak mintak tolong tu kemain lagi merayu, cakap lembut2 tapi bila aku mintak tolong lak, boleeh lak lupa. dah la dah lama aku btau. ish geram tul. geram aku geram!!!

ika dah selamat register kat kolej poly-tech mara. harap2 dier dapat adjust herself well coz aku tgk tpt tu cam tak selesa sangat (hostel). macam2 mak beli untuk dier. masa aku masuk kmpp pun tak cam tu. arap2 lepas ni ika akan blaja betul2 la. kalo dier wat taik gak macam spm tu tak tau la aku :( aku hanya mampu mendoakan dier berubah sket la dari perangai dier dulu. aku ni risaukan adik2 yang takkan abes :(

the thing is rite now i'm mentally exhausted.

beautiful song

Mary J Blige Lyrics
As Lyrics

what i did today

KAMI-clockwise from left-aku,alin,ana,liya&syera

what i did today? ari ini ahad dan aku bukak klinik metadon cam besa kul 8.15 dan abes kul 11. ape yang menariknya arini? menariknya adalah aku lepak yang paling mahal dalam hidup aku iaitu aku memandu ke kuantan untuk celebrate besday alin 20/6 lepas. alin yang memboyot, ana, liya from rompin serta syera yang membawa 2 orang housemate sekali bersama2 aku melepak dan berpiknik di pantai sepat, kuantan.
aku sampai paling awal sekali kat umah alin kul 1.3o dan yang paling lambat adalah penganjur lepak2 ini laa, ana. ade ke patut? kul 2.45 baru dier sampai. cett. pantai sepat tak leh sehappening TC tapi the ambient IS quite okay. not too crowded cam TC but the beach is far away. takder la main air just duduk2 chatting n besa laa kitorang kalo tak bukak citer kelambu tak sah la. tapi tak byk yang diceritakan la. liya ngan mamat bomba pun xder. cit. ana lagi laa.. mana ader paper. aku cam nak citer pasal #$#^%$#^ tapi ntah la. dah tawar ati pun ader.
anyway syok la jugak lepak2 kali ni. syera pun dah nak sambung master kat UKM dah. lepas ni susah la nak kumpul2 cam ni lagik. masing2 pun semakin sibuk ngan tugas masing2. setahun lebih kawan ngan depa ni mcm2 dah kami tempuhi. zaman2 prp yang asik kene buli n masih lagi setahun jagung dalam bidang farmasi ni, it's upon ourselves we have to depend to. kuantan pun dah macam 2nd home to me. masa nak balik tu aku cam berat hati la jugak. bukannya aku bencikan jengka tapi aku memang rasa i don't belong here. i've tried to adapt tapi masih belum sesuai lagi. working wise i'm getting at it but the surroundings did not. ntah la. susah nak transfer laaaa..

aku masih di sini

hehe dah lama tak menulis. been busy n all. lagipun mood takder nak menulis. nak kata takde mende nak dicurahkan, macam2 mende dah terjadi sejak 2 menjak nih.
harga minyak dah naik, kene la jimat2 duit kalu nak balik serdang. dah la plan nak cuti2 malaysia ke langkawi ogos ni. duit mesti ribu habis. uhu...
ni la gambar2 aku sepanjang tak menulis ni. nanti akan tulis lagi. penatt

The Age I Wish To Go Back To

hahaha. sangat menarik ini tajuk. since aku asik merapu2 jer kat blog ni so aku pun rasa tajuk ini sangat menarik untuk dikupas dan dikarang di sini. ada 2 umur yang aku rasa nak go back to, since ader satu umo yang mana aku dah buat kesalahan besar n dikesali sepanjang hayat (i still am).
aku kalo boleh nak ulang semula umo 15 tahun since aku kenal 'cinta' masa umo tu laa. see i'm not the most popular girl in school but i had a small group of frens yang masa tu ader g-hah, dekda, along & angah, michelle, kim n rush. masa tu aku aktif gak ngan PBSM. so aku mula kenal Qatar (bukan nama sebenar, nama samaran jer) kat situ la. masa aku f3 dier dah f5. dan muka dier ade sedikit iras2 Anuar Zain (yang sgt hot pada masa itu). dier dipanggil Qatar sbb dier selalu pakai jersi Qatar 13 warna putih masa PBSM punya perjumpaan. as a birthday gift, dekda bagi no tipon aku kat mamat ni untuk tipon aku on my birthday! memang la masa tu aku happy giler. i was on cloud nine lepas tu. tapi aku tak pena cakap ngan dier depan2 sbab aku malu sangat :( tapi sepanjang aku F3 tu memang gile ah. all the stalking, running away when got caught, all this being jealous when he talks to other gals n i had my diary full of his acts, when i meet him, what he's wearing today bla bla bla. ahahaha kitorang bukannya kapel pun lepas dier initiate that phone call but somehow rather as mutual frens jek kitorang jadik. cakap pun aku-kau jek. so nothing special really happened back then. agaknya dier kat mana skrang. rindulah zaman dulu kala....

Howl-Aeng Moo Sae

Howl Lyrics
Aeng Moo Sae Lyrics

++No Air No Air++

woo. bosan giler weekend nih. seb baik Azrin ader kos die keje so weekend wudnt be as bad. anyway i really need this weekend to just relax and kemas2 bilik je since aku baru balik dari BTN the following weekend. peh cakap pasal BTN memang tensen giler la. i wanted to go home the moment i reached Maran (tempat BTN tuh). dah la kene duduk dorm, mandi kolah (sbb takder air) n makan pun dalam tray. aku bukannya tak suka sgt2 tapi kiranya for the first day mmg aku bad mood gile la. dah la tak cukup tido, mandi tak puas, ish memang luxury yang dirompak dari aku la.
gambar untuk BTN memang takder la since phone tak bawak, kamera rosak so takder kenangan langsung la. tapi part yg paling best masa abseilling kot. ko naik menara 50 kaki n turun ngan tali untk 40 kaki. memang berpeluh la. peluh dier sama ngan buat poco2 30 minit. the anticipation dier sgt2 la menakutkan sampai aku rasa cam nak muntah sat2 tu jugak. tapi lepas dah buat rasa cam nak buat lagi lak. tapi tak dapat huhu....
BTN ni pada pandangan aku sangat2 la mahu menerapkan 'political minds' pada kakitangan awam. but not in the bad way la. byk mende la aku belajar masa BTN ni, patriotisme, politic, democracy, parliament etc etc~ memang mengantuk giler la. pastu ader LDK lak where all 127 of us were divided into 10 groups. so satu group ader satu fasi and group aku (gp 8) dapat fasi PK HEM sekolah kat Jengka. nama dier aku dah lupa lak. heh.
tu je laa kot. takder paper sgt yang menarik masa BTN tuh. boring semata2. sekian.

Post-Induction Life~

ahh.. syoknya dah byk hari tak keje. baru balik dari genting kene induksi (10-24 April) lepas kene pegi balok lak kursus hiv counselling. merasa la tido hotel berhari2. dasat2. ehehehe. jumpa balik dr.Z yang aku minat masa kat HTAA. u're looking H.O.T. babe! hahaha merasa aku main ping-pong ngan dier. huhu... memang cabaran kat jantung aku. panas panas panas!
memula ingat cam boring jek induksi nih. masa mula2 dtg je aku dah boring dah. seb baik ana ngan alin ader. alin yang boyot2 pun maghi gok. so okay la jugak dapat catch up ngan depa. tinggal liya jek yg takde. kalo ade, lagi gamat la seri malaysia genting tuh. ehehehehe.
so as usual kene la ader group. group aku nama Kamikaze. ntah camner leh ter'dapat' nama tu pun tak ingat dah. tapi memang best la semua. ader Aisah, Rushin, Wong, Wadiah, Nani, Esther, Li Lian, Hanim, Anuar, Nazra ngan aku. nak citer sorang2 pasal depa ni takyah la. tapi sorang2 nih memang best la especially aku. huhu~
beberapa perkara yg interesting berlaku masa induksi.

1. aku dapat roomate yang gile tua tapi rock giler. she will be turning 30 this year. and she's sabahan. tapi dier okay. she let me use her toothpaste (yang aku luper bawak) and sabun basuh baju die. die adalah seorang psychologist, which is way too cool. all in all i learnt a lot from her. thanks ujie!
2. macam aku dah btau kat atas, aku main ping-pong ngan mamat yg aku ader crush masa kat HTAA dulu. he's sooooooooooooooo hot! ana ngan alin cakap dier skema tapi aku tak rasa cam tu lak. hehehe. masa main ngan ana aku asik gelak2 je tapi bile main ngan dier aku serius jek. cam sial kan? huhuhu. adakah aku sudah cukup bersopan-santun untuk memikat hati beliau? ntah la. tapi beberapa ari lepas tu dier senyum ngan cakap "bile lagi kita nak main ping-pong?" kat aku. aku pun senyum meleret (kot) n replied "insyaallah. ajak je la bila2." cukup sopan-santun takkk??? neway lepas tu takder dah main coz setiap group kene main volley lak. cis cis. tamat cam tu ke? oh percintaan ping-pong ku....
3. aku terjatuh dari threadmill machine masa pes time cube. betul. ader saksi 2 orang. ana ngan sorang mamat yg tgh main dumb bell masa tuh. malu tahap cipan. cipan pun tak malu cam aku. gelakkan diri sendiri yang perok.

all in all, i had a blast during induksi. masa nak balik pun cam rasa berat hati nak balik. dah malas nak keje pun. dah tak leh nak usha dr.Z masa lecture. takleh nak usik2 ana lagi. tapi nak wat camner. time goes by. mana ader stop. warghh!!

"Akukan Ada?"

i wish i had the courage to say that to a very special fren of mine when he was wounded with unrequited love last time. he never sees me that way, anyway. memang btul laa lelaki ngan perempuan susah nak berkawan. purely platonic friendship between man and woman memang susah nak dicarik.

boundary antara friendship and love memang samar2 je. and aku selalu terperangkap antara line nih. eiii frustnyaa~

Bad Day :(

hari aku dimulakan dengan bunyi crash yg mana cermin panjang yg aku bari beli dari giant pecah. penyangkut yg aku gunakan tak tahan untuk tampung berat cermin tu... satu hal jugak la nak kutip serpihan cermin2 subuh2 tu. pastu pagi semua kerja yg aku buat serba tak kena. ngantuk giler padahal tido awal gak kol 12. rasa cam sial giler.
then dtg plak en.muzamil nak lantus dier. dah la takder stok lagik. kene laa buat muka comel dan kata stok takder lagi. amekk la lagi kat htaa nanti. asik2 aku jek pinjam ubat kat htaa niii. sial lagik. geramnya!!!
pastu petang terserempak lak ngan doktor baru tuh. dier lagi jauh lagi cam tak suke jek tgk aku.. apsal tah. aku lagi la bengang. apahal lak doktor nih nak buat kucing lak. malas la aku nak layan.

p/s: phone tgh dibaiki di kedai. harap2 dapat dibaiki. huhu.

rainy sunday evening

baru balik dari kuantan. best gak weekend ni. lepak kuantan dari jumaat ptg sampai arini. tido umah syera. dapat la jumpa syera, ana, alin n liya. byk gak info2 n gossip2 yang kitorang tuka2. hehe biasa la pompuan yek.
trauma aku kt kuantan ialah kalo aku terjumpa spek. ish2 masa kat gambang r&r igtkan nampak cam muka dier, cuak gak, tapi rupa2nya org len. seriously aku kecut perut gak. camne laa aku nak berdepan ngan dier. tu laaa rejek org lagi, nak wat camne dah 'chemistry' yang aku harapkan ader ngan dier takder. takkan nak paksa ek?
anyway masa kat kuantan ader pegi taj megamall skalik. syg sgt tak dapt makan cheese nan dier. cheese habis, can u believe it? tahapehape. igtkan nak ajak depa makan kat Zack's corner kat belakang htaa, lupa lak. leh makan kueytiaw kungfu dier patutnya. rugi rugi.
dah lama tak dtg htaa rs cam tak bese lak. jumpa lik pn.mas, cik ain, pele, zulkhairi ngan org2 enforcement. aku kene pegi training of trainers- rational use of drugs (consumer) sebenarnya. miahaahah lepas nih kene present kat hospital lak. malasnya~ dah la byk keje lagi.
nak balik serdang lagi minggu depan, ari khamis kan cuti? maulud nabi. aii dah la duit tgh kering nih. hopefully afiq ader bawak ole2 yang best dari sabah utk moi! baru le gagah gue pulang ke serdang.
untuk info pasal Kempen Kenalilah Ubat Anda, pegi sini . Ader byk info pasal keje2 yang aku kene sebarkan lepas nih. Huhu

Testing testing~

i want to seriously blog this time. then i can vent anything i feel instead of keeping it inside.